The Twighlight Zone

Ok, let me preface this by saying I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. No seriously, I swear to you.

Today I went to RBMC for my practicum like I always do a couple of mornings a week right? Well the practicum went well, I finished up all my tasks, confirmed a meeting for next week and bid my preceptor farewell. I got on the elevator, took that down to the main lobby like I always do. Walked past all the uninsured patients waiting for charity care and headed straight for the escalators down to the main lobby and out the front door. Nothing untoward here, pretty typical. Well just as I am about to step onto the escalator, a man comes swiftly round the corner and steps in front of me. He's talking to a lady coming up behind him walking somewhat unsteadily and talking alot. Now, I was a bit miffed that this man had swooped in front of me but I figured, what the heck, I'll just let him go, there's no fire right? Well, then here's this lady - maybe late 30's, white woman, long gray/brown hair pulled back in a stringy ponytail, light blue pair of old lady jean shorts (you know the kind you might get at a Walmart or something?), flimsy gray tank top with one shoulder strap falling off, white converse-like sneakers, glasses perched precariously on her nose and clutching some paperwork. My first thought was "this lady is not well". She's either suffering from some physical disability that prevents her from properly balancing or she is strung out on meth. In a nutshell, she looked homeless. Now, I am not being judgemental here, I'm just trying to give you a vivid scenario of my perception (afterall if she is ill, makes sense to be in the hospital and if she's an addict, well maybe she came for treatment right?).

Anyway, long story short, I moved aside to let her get on the escalator along with her companion. We've gone down 1, maybe 2 steps when it happens, she keeled forward, limbs flailing, paperwork sailing through the air, glasses askew and tumbled full force into her companion. OMG...OMG. I cannot believe this. Someone rushes to the emergency elevator switch and frantically tries to turn it off but it's not working. She's on her neck/back, braced up against this guy, legs akimbo, and I'm looking directly into her bewildered eyes as I move inexorably towards her destined to be caught up in the unwieldy entanglement of human limbs and machinery. Finally, just in time, as I frantically try to backstep on the escalator (and we all know how futile this is right?) it stops. Not just the escalator, the world. People are peering down from the balcony, whispering and pointing, emergency personnel are mobilizing wheelchairs and other assistance, an aide rushes to help her to her feet (which takes a good minute , mind you) and I am standing there completely frozen in shock. The weird thing is, she kept saying she was ok, she had just stepped on wrong and she wanted to leave but she couldn't even stand up! They told her she couldn't leave, they had to fill out paperwork and file an incident report etc. Then, they started rounding up witnesses. Of course myself and the other guy on the escalator were the prime witnesses so they pulled us over. First they questioned the man and guess what he said? "I didn't see anything, I'm blind." What!? I mean, I'm not doubting he's blind but his other senses must be on helly high alert cos he sure swooped onto that escalator with the ease and swiftness of a cheetah. So that left me...unwitting, unsuspecting #1 prime witness extraordinaire. I'm thinking "crap, I'm gonna be here all day" (selfish, i know, but hey I never claimed to be perfect) . But it wasn't really that bad, they just took my name and information and asked me to recount what I had seen and then they let me go.

I really felt bad for the lady, but not bad enough to stick around (she's in a fricking hospital for Gods sake, she'll be fine). I took one last look at the melee behind me and fled out the hospital doors. I really felt like I was stepping out of a Twilight Zone.